uncertainty

Uncertainty. Its a feeling I really have come to despise. Theres so much uncertainty in life and I think I suffer from it far too often to be normal. My mind wanders a lot, it seems as though I have trouble pin-pointing things that make me feel secure, and I'm constantly searching for something consistent in my life. The trouble is I have yet to find it. The only thing I can absolutely be certain about every moment of every day is that I have Boo, my precious dog and he loves me and I love him back.

Since leaving Joe to find the real me, and hopefully find amazing love, I've had trouble sleeping. Its not that I miss Joe, I may sometimes miss the idea of being married and having a big house, but the person that was attached to that lifestyle I do not miss. I don't know if my new found insomnia is after shock in my brain from picking up and leaving so fast. I made a decision and five days later I was gone. I do not in any way regret the decision I made, but I am still unclear of the real reasons of why I left. It was something I needed to do for myself, to get clarity, and cleanse myself of the rotten feelings left over from the tragedies that have happened in the past few months. No need to discuss them anymore, but I feel like I'm being taunted day in and day out.

i've been sitting on this blog for hours now, no motivation to give a conclusion because I have none, so I suppose this is goodnight.